Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies Version II
by wchan39
Summary: See your favourite Cardcaptor Sakura characters do hilarious parodies of all kinds of movies, TV shows, animes, games, etc. UPDATED! UPDATED! PARODIES 31 TO 35!
1. Parodies 1 to 5

Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies (Version II)

By: wchan39

Yeah, it's been a while since I wrote anything, even though I promised a new chapter of Syaoran ½ (that was like 3 months ago). Seeing how I still haven't thought of a decent chapter yet, I was reading through my old fanfics that got deleted for its script formats.

I did say I will someday repost them after I removed the script format. I guess this fic will be one of the first of my old fics to be revived. Not only the script format has been removed, there's now new contents added to make the parodies flow better and funnier.

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura is the property of a group of four japanese ladies known as CLAMP. Am I one of those fine ladies? The answer is no, therefore I don't own CCS. So please...GET THOSE DAMN LAWYERS OFF MY DOORSTEP!

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**Parody No. 1**

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(He's a ordinary school boy by day...)

Syaoran Li in his school uniform walking to school, minding his own business, kicking any stray dogs that attempts to bite him.

(...who hangs out with his friends...)

It's lunchtime, Syaoran and Yamazaki are talking while eating.

"That's just plain idiocy! Who the hell would believe that there's actually a hidden country called Bonerland that's just a little to the left of Okinawa..."

"OOOOOOhhhhhhh, Syaoran!

His blood froze as he turns his head to the origin of that squeal. It was Meiling, she's heading towards him and FAST!

"Aw, hell..."

(...gets perfect school grades...)

"Congratulation, Li!" Mr Terada exclaimed as he hand back the test paper, "You scored 100 on the maths exam!"

(...the number one player in the soccer team...)

Syaoran does a powerful kick on the soccer ball, it went flying through the air so fast that it bursts into flames in mid-air, the goalkeeper instinctively ducked, avoiding the fireball which shot though the goal net and through a window of the science lab.

Then the lab suddenly exploded, apparently the class in there at the time are learning about the composition of gunpowder and has to make it as part of their assignment.

The soccer players just stare at the sight dumbfoundedly with eyes wide as saucers.

(But at night...)

A lizard-like monster was about to do some inappropriate stuffs to a innocent school girl but gets sent crashing to the ground by a flying kick from a unknown figure. Then the monster slowly gets up in pain.

"Who the hell are you?"

(...he lives a double life as...)

The cloaked figure takes off his cloak and revealed himself to be Syaoran, still in his school uniform except for the only difference is that he's wearing a black mask.

"How dare you harm innocent bystanders!" He announced, as he continues to do all kinds of ridiculous poses, "I shall not forgive you for I am the cool, dangerously sexy Magical Boy Chibi Wolf!"

**Pretty Magical Boy Chibi Wolf **

"Who says you have to be a girl to fight for love and justice?"

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**Parody No. 2**

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(This season...)

Eriol Hiiragizawa bumps into Tomoyo Daidouji in the streets, which made her dropped her purse onto the ground, spilling out its contents.

"I'm sorry, miss! Let me help you pick them up!"

"Oh, thank you!"

(...prepare for the scariest thing to ever happen...)

Eriol is now standing at the balcony outside of his apartment, staring at the full moon with a dazed look in his eyes.

"Ahh...Tomoyo Daidouji...what a beautiful name..."

(...as Romance and Comedy takes a rollercoaster ride they will never forget...

"Oh, Tomoyo...if only I could you were here so I could admit my undying love to you..."

"Ummm...I'm right here..." Replied a blushing Tomoyo

"Huh?"

Then, the railing Eriol was leaning on breaks, making Eriol screamed as he falls off the balcony and landed face flat on the ground.

"Ughhhh..." He moaned, his voiced muffled by the concrete that his face is planted into, "I don't get paided enough for this sh..."

**Not Another Clichéd Movie**

"Don't move, if you don't want your girlfriend here to die!"

"What the...that's a carrot stick you're pointing her at the neck with, you moron!"

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**Parody No. 3**

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(Prepare for a the biggest terror to ever hit Tokyo...)

A businessman reaches for his cup of coffee when suddenly there's a small tremor and the coffee rippled.

(...it's more dangerous than Godzilla...)

A view of somewhere in the busy section of Tokyo, suddenly, a large long yellow object with weird beady eyes, small wings and a fluffy tail falls from the sky

"AHHHHH! GIANT STUFFED ANIMAL!" A random tourist screamed out.

"KEEERRROOO! WHERE'S MY ICE CREAM? KKKKEEEERRRRROOOOO!" The aforementioned stuffed animal bellowed as it shoots out a fireball, destroying a nearby skyscraper.

(...it's the clash of the titans...)

Then another giant stuffed animal appears, a black one this time. It fires his energy beam out of his mouth, causing devastations throughout the city

"SUPPI! SUPPI! SUPPI! MUST GET SOME CANDY! SUPPI! SUPPI! SUPPI! WITH CANDY I CAN LAUGH!" It sang.

**Attack of the Giant Stuffed Animals**

Never deprive your stuffed toys from anything sweet!

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**Parody No. 4**

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(In a world where cardcaptors are plentiful...)

It's night time, dark cloud covers the sky, showering the earth with heavy rain and occasionally lights up the field with lightning strikes.

(...they fight to be the best...)

Speak of the devil, lightning strikes, the brightness revealed two figures, Sakura and Syaoran, standing on the plains and having a stand-off.

(...only the strongest cardcaptor shall become...)

"Windy, I choose you!" Sakura yelled as she throws out a card. The card materialise into a form that resembles a female.

"Go, Thunder! Use your Lightning Strike attack!" Syaoran's card materialise into a four-legged beast.

"Windy, repel it with your Razor Tornado!"

The attacks of lightning bolts and a tornado collides, canceling each other out.

(...the Master of the Cards...)

"First, I congratulate you on making it to the finals of the Tournament, but this is where your winning streak ends! Feel the wrath of the ultimate card of Clow Reed, Master of the Cards! I choose you...VOID!"

"Bring it on! I will become the best! Like no one ever was!"

(Do you have what it takes to become the Master of the Cards?)

**KaDoMon**

Gotta Seal 'em All!

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**Parody No. 5**

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(It's the ultimate nightmare...)

A very happy Syaoran woke up early in the morning, slowly getting off his bed.

(It's the horror above all horror...)

Syaoran is dressing up, still has that happy look on his face.

(It's the worst thing that could ever happen to mankind...)

Syaoran, still happy as ever, walks into the kitchen and opens up the pantry. Then suddenly, the happy look on his face disappears. Then he searches through every cupboard in the kitchen, appearing to have not found whatever he was looking for.

His face is now replaced with a shocked expression.

"Wei!"

"Yes, Master Li?"

By now, his eyes are becoming bloodshot.

"Where...the hell is MY COFFEE?

**The Day the World Ran Out of Coffee"**

Be afraid, be very, VERY afraid!

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That's it for the rewrite of Chapter 1, hope the humor still works as it did back then.

The part about 'Bonerland' is actually a reference to The Simpsons. A Treehouse of Horror episode to be exact.

I'll have the rewrite of the next chapter up very soon, until then make sure you review. Afterall, they are the reason I write, knowing what people thinks of my writings keeps me going.


	2. Parodies 6 to 10

Cardcaptors Sakura Parodies (Version II)

By: wchan39

Here it is, the fixed up version of Chapter 2.

Another thing I need to announce, I won't be reposting all of the chapters (8 chapters in all) 'cause I was reading through the previews and I notice how some of them are complete crap. So I decide to delete them, thus the total Previews count is lowers and there will be less chapters to upload.

Just like the previous chapter, there's some changed (and new) lines here, hope they'll work just as well as the original scripted version.

Disclaimer: Read the first chapter, I don't feel like repeating myself today.

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**Parody No. 6**

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(Life took a 180-degree turn for the worse when a young martial artist is training in the wrong place...)

A very scared Syaoran is screaming at the top of his lungs as he plummets down from the air and into a spring.

A few minutes later, he rose up from the water.

"Aieeee! Very bad! You fallen to Spring of Drowned Girl!"

"What are you talking about...why's my voice sound funny and..." Syaoran trailed off as he notice that his hair is much longer, his voice higher and most of all, his chest is...'bigger'.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE?"

(And was not the end of it yet...)

It's been raining for a while, out in the streets is Syaoran, on the ground and being dragged by a rope on one end tied to his leg and the other held by his mother Yelan.

"Mother! What the hell do you mean I've got a fiancee?"

(Life was never fair on this boy...)

Syaoran and his 'fiancée', Sakura has finally met and...

"You gotta be kidding me!" Syaoran said in a very unenthusiastic voice, "This uncute tomboy is my fiancée?"

Sakura, the 'uncute tomboy' that Syaoran was referring to, winds up a punch...

"SYAORAN NO BAKA!"

...And sends it right into Syaoran's left cheek. The force was so tremendous that it caused his body to spiral up through the house's roof and into the sky.

**Gender Bender**

"Stupid uncute tomboy..."

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**Parody No. 7**

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(They always say there's no such thing as ghosts...)

A librarian sorting out books when suddenly a ghost jumped out of the shelf.

"BOO!"

"AAAHHHHH!"

(...or monsters...)

A young girl comes across a seemingly innocent cute little kitten.

"Awwww...look at that! It's co cute! It's so...

That is until it revealed its razor sharp teeth and bites down on the woman's hand.

"AHHH! Get it off! Get it off! GET IT OOOFFFFF!"

(...or creepy things that come out of your bedroom when your mummy and daddy's gone...)

Night time, a little is about to fall asleep when suddenly the bed starts to and move and talk.

"Now, no one's here to save you! I shall gobble you up!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

(...but when these things are true... )

Dark clouds are spreading at an incredible speed and it ingulfs the city in darkness and lightning strikes everywhere.

(...who do you call to stop them?)

A lone telephone sitting on top of a desk has been ringing for quite a while now. Finally a hand reached out, picked up the receiver and answered it.

"Hello, Ghostbuster Sakura, speaking!"

**Ghostbuster Sakura**

First are the cards, now it's PERSONAL!

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**Parody No. 8**

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(WARNING! THE FOLLOWING STUNTS ARE DONE BY PROFESSIONALS, DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY OF THESE STUNTS AT HOME!)

Up on the roof of the Kinomoto house, we see Touya and Yukito up there, doing something...

"Hi, I'm Touya Kinomoto! I'm gonna attempt to bungee jump from my house's rooftop down to the bottom and use this baseball bat to whack that chinese gaki in the head who's trying to kiss my sister right now! Why that little f..."

"Are you ready yet?" Yukito interrupted.

"More than ever!"

"So, Touya bungee-jumped off the rooftop.

"BUN-GEE!"

Yukito sighs at Touya's 'persistance'.

"Why can't he leave Sakura-chan alone? Her boyfriend's not gonna hurt her in any way..." He trailed off as he noticed something's not right here, "Oh, NO! I FORGOT TO TIE THE OTHER END OF THE BUNGEE CORD!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Damn it! He interrupted me again!" Syaoran cursed in his mind.

"Onii-chan, what are you doing lying on the cactus patch?"

**Baka! The Movie**

Syaoran drops a banana peel onto the ground, Eriol (holding two milkshakes) stepped on it, slipped over, spilling the milkshake all over Tomoyo in the process.

"AHHHH!"

"I'm sorry! Here, let me clean you up..."

Eriol in a panic reached into his pocket for a hankerchief. What Eriol did not realise until it was too late was that the milkshake was mostly spilt on Tomoyo's chest, thus he ended up grabbing her breast.

Enraged, Tomoyo responded by kicking Eriol in his 'family jewels'.

Syaoran smirked at this while he's sipping his milkshake.

"Hehehe...sucker!"

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**Parody No. 9**

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(Be careful when you go out...)

Sakura and Syaoran met up and go on their date, not to mention that Touya is glaring at the 'gaki' from the window as the lovely couple left..

(...you could've being watched by someone...)

A small camera lens appeared out of a small bush.

(...this person is everywhere...)

From the camera screen, it appears that whoever is holding onto the camera is recording Sakura and Syaoran's date

(...you cannot be hidden from this person...)

"What is it?" Syaoran asked.

"Well...I kinda got this feeling that we're being watched..."

(...for this person is...)

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"This is SOOOOOOOO kawaii!"

**The Stalker!**

"Please, Daidouji! Don't scare the crap out of us like that again!"

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**Parody No. 10  
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(Prepare yourself...for you're about to see Yue as you've never seen before...)

A MC gets up on stage, spotlights shone down on him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome tonight's special guest comedian, the moon guardian of the cards...Yue!"

Yue walks out and takes the mic and starts to speak.

"Wow! What a crowd today! So...here's a joke! Why did the chicken cross the road?"

The crowd was silent.

"To get to the other side! Get it?"

The crowd was still silent.

"Okay, a tough crowd, huh? Here's a good one...What do people from Mars eat for dinner? Mars bars! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Still nothing from the crowd. Then, Yue suddenly breaks down.

"DAMN YOU, KEROBEROS!" Yue screamed as he gets down on all four and bangs his fist on the stage, "I TOLD YOU THAT I CAN'T DO JOKES! NOW LOOK AT ME! I'M MAKING AN ASS OF MYSELF IN FRONT OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE!"

Then, Yue got into a fetal position and starts crying. Suddenly, he transformed into Yukito, got back up and talks.

"Sorry about that, people." He apologized, "My alternate form aren't in the mood to talk right now...hmmm...I'm getting hungry here, you got anything here to eat?"

**Yue: The Comedian**

"Now, THIS is entertainment!" Kero exclaimed from the audience as he wolf down a large tub of popcorn.

Suddenly, Yukito turns back into Yue.

"DIE, KEROBEROS!"

The last thing anyone else saw is Kero flying away from a very pissed off knife-wielding Yue.

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There, another chapter reposted.

Those of you who read this before may notice that Preview No. 6 was originally titled 'Syaoran ½'. Seeing how after this fic was originally deleted, I did went and write a fanfic also called 'Syaoran ½' and based roughly on that preview (but still quite different at the same time). The problem is that it maybe considered a preview for my other fics (which doesn't allow) so I changed the title.

Now that I think about it, I've quite violent today as you can probably tell from the new contents that's in this chapter. Maybe it's because I've been playing a lot of Halo 2 and Dynasty Warriors 5 lately.

As you know, I won't be writing any new previews until I reposted all of the older ones first. But you can leave any suggestions of what you want to see being parodied so I can work on it once I'm done reposting.

wchan39


	3. Parodies 11 to 15

Cardcaptors Sakura Parodies (Version II)

By: wchan39

Like I promised, these repost are VERY fast. SO here's the next chapter!

A new change is that from now on, these 'previews' are now changed to 'Parody' just in case some people read the preview part and got the wrong idea of this fic is one big preview thing (which is not).

Also, I noticed that a some people don't really get where or what am I doing parodies off. So I decied to make a list of them from now on, here's the list for Parodies No. 1 to 10:

Parody 1: Sailor Moon

Parody 2: None in particular, title based on 'Not Another Teen Movie' (although I never seen it before)

Parody 3: Godzilla

Parody 4: Pokemon, but the black stormy weather on the field was from the intro of the Street Fighter Alpha/Zero 2 game.

Parody 5: None in particular, except the title is based on 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'

Parody 6: Ranma ½

Parody 7: Ghostbusters

Parody 8: Jackass: The Movie

Parody 9: None in particular, just based on those generic kind of horror movies, especially those ones with titles that starts with 'The...'

Parody 10: Inspired by Seinfeld. Specifically, those opening parts with Jerry doing stand-up comedy acts.

There you have it, hope it clears up some confusion.

The list for this chapter will be at the end of this page (as it will be in future chapters) and the next time I update, I will delete the list on top and put them at the older chapters.

Now I'll stop my rambling and let you start reading.

Disclaimer: Read Chapter 1, like I said, don't feel like repeating.

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**Parody No. 11**

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A dark corridor lights up dimly.

"We are the best kept secret in the known mission is to protect this planet from all supernatural and magical occurances."

Two Person are now walking down the corridor.

"We are the best, last and only line of defence!"

One of them, Eriol, took off his sunglasses.

"We work in secret, we exist in shadows."

Then his partner, Syaoran does the same.

"And we dress weirdly."

Which is true, seeing how Eriol and Syaoran are wearing their CCS battle costumes in the middle of this empty corridor, a giggle can be heard. It came from the cameraman who's filming this right now.

"DAMN IT! STOP GIGGLING ABOUT WHAT WE'RE WEARING!"

Then he throws his sword at the camera and the last thing anyone saw is static.

(They're the strongest...)

"Don't worry, I can handle this creep!" Syaoran reassured as he charges at the monster. Seconds later, he was grabbed by the monster's tentacle and gets bashed repeatedly onto a car and a brick wall back and forth.

"Damn...need to go to Plan B..." Syaoran muttered as he crawl out of the wreckage, broken and bleeding.

(The smartest...)

"Do you know what you're doing?" Tomoyo questioned as she watches Eriol press a lot of buttons and twisting this small round contraption in his hand.

"Of course I do! Take that, you #$!"

So, he threw the contraption at the horde of weird-looking alien bugs. The next thing he could see is a giant mushroom cloud.

Finally, when the smoke clears...

"You idiot!" Tomoyo screamed, "I told you many times, that thing is composed of all the most unstable substances in this galaxy! You can't just hurl one out whenever you want!"

(...And the whole world depends on them?)

**DIC: Duo in Costumes!**

Syaoran and Eriol are inside a café, having lunch, not noticing everyone out in the street is running and screaming for their lives as a giant foot came crashing down outside and goes back up.

"Did you just hear something?" Eriol asked Syaoran, looking up from the newspaper he was reading.

"No, why?"

"Nevermind, then."

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**Parody No. 12**

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(She's the most beautiful girl around...)

Sakura in a long, beautiful evening gown, walking down a long flight of stairs.

(Gentlemen from around the world tried their best to win her heart...)

Sakura was greeted by many young tuxedo-clad men. All of them holding bouquets of roses just for her.

(They dated her, got to know her...but in order to win Sakura's heart, they must pass one final test...)

Silence, wind blew softly pass the men

(They have to get pass...)

Then, Touya appear right in between Sakura and the men, holding a chainsaw in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"RRROOAAARRR! I'LL TEACH YOU TO LAY YOUR DIRTY HANDS ON MY SISTER, YOU GAKIS!"

(...her BIG BROTHER!)

"!" the men screamed as they scatter, running for their lives as Touya is going around, swinging his chainsaw and firing his shotgun at random directions like a maniac.

Sakura sweatdrops heavily at the sight of this.

**Anime Bachelorette: Uncut Version**

A contest where your life is ACTUALLY on the line!

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**Parody No. 13**

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(He's an ordinary boy, I mean, wizard...)

Eriol is lying down on his sofa, reading a novel. Realising that he is getting hungry, he pulls out his wand and points it at his coffee table. The table transformed and it is now made completely out of cookies. Then Eriol break apart one of the table legs and chews on it.

"Hmmmmm...chocolate-chip..."

(Until one day, he found himself in another world...)

"Where the hell am I?" Eriol wondered as he gets up from the ground, noticing that he's not in his room anymore but in some sort of a massive lush green garden.

(Expect the unexpected...)

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Mad Hatter." He answered, handing Eriol a cup of tea, "Drink this."

"No, thanks! I don't exactly trust you, what if you put some kind of poison in it?"

Sighing, the Mad Hatter stood up and walks up next to Eriol.

"I'm sorry about this, but I have to do it in order for the story to continue..."

Then, the Mad Hatter grabs Eriol by the hair and slams his head down onto the table.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"

"Trying to knock you out!"

So, the Mad Hatter continues to bash Eriol's head on the table repeatedly.

"OWW!

(bang!)

OWW! WHAT THE #$?

(bang!)

AHHH! STOP IT!

(bang!)

"NOT THE FACE! YOU'RE RUINING MY FACE! WHAT THE #$ DID I EVER DO TO YOU?"

(And see lots of weird stuff happening...)

"Guards! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" The Queen of Hearts ordered as hundreds of Card soldiers surrounds Eriol...

...a few minutes later, there's unconscious Card soldiers lying scattered everywhere with Eriol in the center, standing on top of the Queen of Hearts.

"Everyone, bow down to me! HWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**Eriol-kun in Wonderland**

5 minutes later, Eriol is still laughing and didn't stop until he suddenly choked and coughing like hell due to lack of air.

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**Parody No. 14**

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(They are your typical siblings...)

"Good morning, kaijuu!"

Sakura, the 'kaijuu' replies by stepping on Touya's foot.

"I AM NOT A MONSTER!"

(But on one fathful day...some 'changes' occurred...)

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"(They've switched bodies!)

Sakura and Touya are sitting down on the same table, doing their homeworks.

"Hoeee..." 'Touya' moaned, "These high school maths are even worse that what I used to do..."

"Oh, deal with it!" 'Sakura replied, "And how can you even get these simple 6th grade questions wrong? This is soooo easy!"

(Watch as they try to live each other's lives...)

'Touya' made it back home, with a VERY red face.

"Can't believe I had to shower with other boys around..." 'Touya's thoughts trailed off as he hears some weird noise coming from the toilet.

He enters and sees that it's 'Sakura' vomiting in the toilet.

"Are you okay?"

"He...he kissed me! THAT GAKI KISSED ME!" 'Sakura' screamed before her face turning green again and continue vomiting.

(Will they ever get their bodies back?)

**The Horrors of Body Switching**

"Trust us, it's really horrible!"

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**Parody No. 15  
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(Prepare yourselves...)

It's late at night, and the phone is ringing.

(For the scariest thing ever...)

Finally, Syaoran got up from his bed and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Syaoran-kun...can we meet at the park later on today? I got something to tell you."

"Sure, okay."

(...even scarier than anything else in the world, which shall happen to our hero of this story...)

Later, Syaoran arrives at the park and sees Sakura.

"So, what is it that you want to tell me?"

"I've came to tell you..."

Then, Touya steps out from behind a tree.

"...that I'm getting married to Touya!"

"Oh, okay, that's ni..." Syaoran trailed off as his brain finally process what Sakura just said, "WHAT THE HELL? WHEN DID THIS HAPPENED? NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU'RE SIBLINGS! IT'S WRONG!"

"Oh, shut up, gaki! Love has no boundaries!"

Right now, Syaoran's brain is so overwhelmed by this new revelation to say anything at all.

Then, Meiling suddenly appears.

"Syaoran, I have something to tell you..."

"...Wha...?"

"You see...I'm pregnant! And you're the father of my baby!"

That snapped Syaoran out of his 'shutdown'.

"WHAT? HOW THE HELL IS THAT POSSIBLE? WE NEVER..."

He never finished because Eriol came, grabbed Syaoran by his shirt collar and pointing a butcher knife at his neck.

"YOU TWO-TIMING BASTARD!" Eriol screamed, "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE AWAY MY TOMOYO AND GET AWAY WITH IT!"

"Eriol! What the #$ have you been smoking?" Syaoran shouted, "I would never do such a...hey! Whats this chain doing in my hand?"

Syaoran look to see where the other end of the chain is. He was shock to noticed that the other end is hooked onto a leather collar which is worn by a naked Tomoyo except for these bondage ropes that she's wearing but leaves VERY little to the imagination.

Also there's the fact that she's down on all fours in the ground.

"Syaoran-sama, I'll all yours to command, please take me!"

Finally, Syaoran cannot take it anymore.

He screamed.

**Syaoran's EXTRA Worst Nightmare: The Movie**

Syaoran's eyes shot right open and notice he's back in his bed breathing heavily and completely covered in sweat.

"Phew...It's only a dream...it's not real..."

(...Or is it?)

Syaoran noticed someone's in bed with him. He removed the blankets and it revealed...Kaho Mizuki, naked?

"Sleep well, sweetie?"

"!"

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And there you go, another chapter reposted.

...There's sure is a lot of screaming in this chapter, don't you think? (laughs) Oh well, it's all for the sake of torturing these characters for your viewing pleasures.

Now, for the list of what I parodied in this chapter:

Parody 11: Men in Black

Parody 12: 'The Bachelor' TV show.

Parody 13: Alice in Wonderland

Parody 14: Freaky Friday

Parody 15: Roughly inspired by The Twilight Zone, but the title is ripped-off from my old fanfic, Syaoran's Worst Nightmare (Keyword is 'ripped-off' It's not a preview of my old fic should I ever repost it in the future!)

Now, it's time for you to review will you wait for my next repost. Hope to see you then!

wchan39


	4. Parodies 16 to 20

Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies (Version II)

By: wchan39

Sorry for the very long wait. Guess I broke my promise of updating this very fast. Anyway, I've decided to skip through the rewrites of the older parodies because a whole lot of them is harder to rewrite and chances are that they sound incredibly lame by now.

So from now on, it's the new stuff!

Hope you'll enjoy it!

DISCLAIMER: Read chapter 1.

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**Parody No. 16**

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Another day of boring school has ended; students are overjoyed at finally being able to go home. Three particular students are about to go their different ways.

"So...I'll see you tomorrow, Syaoran!"

"Yeah. Bye, Yamazaki!"

The one named Yamazaki left, leaving behind Syaoran and...

"Ahem! You're supposed to leave now!"

"No, I won't!"

...Meiling, one of Syaoran's classmates and has this BIG of a crush on him is right now flat on the ground with her arms wrapped tightly around Syaoran's right leg.

"Please let go of my leg!"

A brief moment had passed and Meiling still didn't listen to Syaoran.

"AND STOP PULLING DOWN MY PANTS!"

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, Syaoran somehow managed to lose Meiling and made it back home (thankfully with his pants where it should be).

"I'm home!"

He slowly heads upstairs to his bedroom. The moment he opened the door he saw someone that wasn't supposed to be in his room and doing something he (maybe) wasn't supposed to see.

There she is in his room right now, Sakura is only wearing her panties and she was halfway at taking her top off when she turn her head and see Syaoran staring at her with 'eyes big as saucers'.

Any moment now...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

From out of nowhere, Sakura brought out a very large metal bat with spikes all over it...

"I'm sorry, Sakura! I didn't mean to..."

...Swung the bat right at Syaoran's head, taking out his head. Blood and other 'stuff' splattered all over the room making it look like a crime scene, even Sakura was partially drenched in his blood.

A brief moment after Syaoran's headless body falls on the ground and twitches unnaturally...

"Oh my God! I killed Syaoran!"

**Club to Death Angel Sakura-chan**

Later, after Syaoran was revived by Sakura's powers...

"Why me, God? What have I done to deserve this?"

At that precise moment up in heaven, the aforementioned God who strangely looked like a certain blue-haired, glass wearing English boy we are all very familiar with is laughing his ass off.

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**Parody No. 17**

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(He was a stranger of this world...)

Kero-chan slowly got up from the ground, rubbing his head in pain.

"Ugh...where am I?"

Then he got aware of the surrounding area. Everything that he can see, trees, grass, houses, mailboxes, animals, even the brick road he's standing on right now is made ENTIRELY out of candy!

"WOHOO! I'VE HIT THE JACKPOT!"

(...Or so he thought!)

"Oh no! The Evil King Suppi is here! Here's trying to take over Candyland make it dark and bitter!"

"You are the that according the to prophecy will come to save us if Candyland is in peril!"

Then Kero stand up on the pedestal, looking down at the townspeople.

"Fear not! Anyone that doesn't appreciate the goodness of sweets is despicable! I shall strike him down!"

(Now he's on a journey to save the world...)

Kero's (now armed with a candy cane sword and a big lollipop shield) journey has been halted temporarily because the Broccoli soldiers, Evil King Suppi's minions, surrounded him.

"I HATE BROCOLLI!" Kero screamed as he charges with candy cane sword in hand, cutting his way through the Broccoli soldiers.

(...All for the sake of his precious sweets!)

Kero is now in Evil King Suppi's lair and confronting the Evil King Suppi himself.

"Evil King Suppi! Your actions of ridding Candyland of all its sweet and goodness is unforgivable!

Then Kero pulls out his dual Chocolate Pocky blades (his candy cane sword and lollipop shield has been broken after many previous battles) and goes into a fighting stance.

"In the name of all that's sweet and yummy, I shall punish you!"

Evil King Suppi just laughs maniacally.

"You think someone like you can defeat me? HWAHAHAHAHAHA! Allow me to send you to an early grave! BRUSSEL SPROUTS METEOR SHOWER!

Sure enough, giant Brussels sprouts are raining down on Kero, who's currently focusing his energy.

"Your nasty tasting vegetables don't scare me! MALTESERS BARRAGE!"

Both the nasty tasting vegetable and the yummy chocolate and malt balls collide with each other, resulting in a massive explosion. From the smoke, Kero flies out, Pocky blades in hand, ready to slice and dice Evil King Suppi.

Evil King Suppi pulls out his long carrot sword and charges, both the super powered fighters clashes as their powers tries to reign supreme...

**Crisis in Candyland**

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**Parody No. 18**

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Today's setting, the Wild West. It seemed a bit quiet.

Too Quiet.

Then there it is, the Saloon's door swung opened and several random male characters went flying out and onto the ground.

The door once again swung open, this time revealing Tomoyo decked out in a Wild West outfit, cracking her knuckles.

"That does it! We're kicking your ass, Sheriff!" Random character No.1 screamed as he charges at Tomoyo trying to land a punch in her face.

Tomoyo effortlessly grabbed the incoming fist. Then she twist it at an odd angle, breaking Random Character No. 1's arm, kicks him hard in the chest breaking some rib bones in the process and then kicks again, sending Random Character No. 1 flying to her left.

Random Character No. 2 tries an attack from the right. Tomoyo with her leg still up from the previous kicking, just moves fast to the rights, connecting her foot with Random Character No.2's jaws sending his body spinning 360's from the air to the ground.

And finally, Random Character No. 3 goes for a frontal attack and tries to grab Tomoyo but she ducks. Using this momentum, she straightens her left hand and thrusts hard at Random Character No. 3's 'family jewels' repeatedly.

Random Character No. 3's eyes went open, keeled over in pain and Tomoyo used this opportunity to finish him by doing a 'Shoryuken' thus breaking Random Character No. 3's jaw and sending his body flying upwards and back down on the hard and dusty earth.

While Tomoyo took the time to look at the damages she caused, Random Character No. 2 got up and tries to do a sneak attack from behind Tomoyo. She just pulled out her six-shooter, points it upwards and fires a round.

The bullet ricochet off something and hit somewhere, which might have stopped Random Character No. 2's sneak attack because a large Piffle Princess sign fell right on his head.

Finally, Tomoyo yelled out at the Saloon's direction, "It's alright now! They won't be picking on you anytime soon!"

Then, Sakura stepped out, took a look at the 'damage' caused.

"Thanks, Sheriff! You're the best!"

"All in a day's work, miss!" Tomoyo replied and then she goes next to Sakura and holds her waist by one hand, "Say, now that the troublemakers been dealt with, how about we go back to your room and do some...you know."

Sakura blushed.

"But...I'm a girl and...you're a girl!"

"Yeah, I know! Your point being?"

A brief pause later...

"HOEEEE?"

**Sheriff Tomoyo**

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**Parody No. 19**

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(They're some of the best professional assassins in the world...)

Syaoran is inputting the access codes to enter his hidden basement. He was able to enter and inside was completely filled with all sorts of firearms and begins to help himself to it.

At that precise moment, Sakura is getting dressed up, hiding several throwing knives in places that some people prefers not knowing and loading up her handgun and putting it in her handbag.

(They're both from rivalling sides...)

Syaoran, dressed in a business suit closes his briefcase and heads out the front door.

(But what they didn't realise is that...)

"Sakura! I'm heading off to work now!"

(...these two rival assassins are married to each other!)

"Take care, Syaoran!"

(This is gonna be one helluva marriage problem no counsellor can solve!)

Currently on one of his mission, Sakura is aiming her sniper rifle at the target's hideout and caught a glimpse of her target, which turns out to be Syaoran.

"No...it can't be!"

At that precise moment in the hideout where Syaoran has his rocket launcher aimed at Sakura...

"Aw hell!"

Next, we see Sakura and Syaoran back in their house, fighting it out.

Right now, the house is a complete mess, with just about everything is riddled with bullet holes. Syaoran jumps out from one of the rooms, firing his submachine gun at Sakura who was lucky to get out of the barrage by hiding behind a wall.

Sakura pumps her shotgun, reloading it with a new round, goes out and blows a new hole in the hole where Syaoran would've been (and died) if he didn't jump and roll down the stairs.

"I don't believe this! You destroyed my stuffed animals collection! I've been collecting them since I was a little girl!"

"Well, you totalled my BMW! And I barely even drove it for a week!

"All, right, that's it! You and me, hand-to-hand, bastard!" Sakura yelled as she throws down her shotgun and rushes out.

"Bring it on, bitch!" Syaoran agreed as he does the same thing.

After a brief moment of exchanging blows, Sakura got her opportunity and kicks Syaoran in the 'family jewels'.

"Hehehe..."

But nothing happened.

Syaoran just smiled at her.

"Cups."

Syaoran returned the favour by grabbing Sakura's breasts hard.

She screams out in excruciating pain but she wasn't done yet. She managed to pull out one of her few remaining throwing knives and stabs Syaoran right at his right upper thigh.

Feeling the intense pain of something lodged through his leg, he lets go of Sakura and starts hopping around.

"OH FUCK THAT HURTS!"

After a while, he managed to pull out the knife.

"Damn...some happy marriage this is..."

**Mr. and Mrs. Li**

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**Parody No. 20**

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Another peaceful day in Tomoeda, school students leaving school and heading for their respective homes, adults still going on with their respective jobs...

Meanwhile, inside a small office. A telephone rings.

A hand reaches out, picks up the receiver and answers the call.

At that precise moment somewhere else, robbers has just stolen a lot of money from the bank and are now making a getaway.

"Hehehehe! That was soooo easy!"

Then, a police siren was heard.

"Oh, no! It's..."

Suddenly from out of nowhere, a police car came flying out of the horizon, lands on the road and pursuing the robbers. Inside the police car is Touya Kinomoto, driving the car like a maniac on some kind of experimental drug that causes people to go insane. Along with him is his faithful (and freaked out) partner, Yukito Tsukishiro.

"...CRAZY COP TOUYA!"

Through some inexplicable reason, Touya was able to hear that remark, pulls out a bullhorn and screams out, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING CRAZY, YOU THIEVING BASTARDS!" while he's driving on the other side of the road, dodging incoming cars (and their respective drivers cursing and flicking Touya off).

Touya speeds up his car, rams into the first robbers' car several times before it spun out of control, crashing into a streetlight and burst into flames.

Then, Touya (while driving with one hand) pulls out a machinegun and firing it at the remaining robbers' car.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BREAKING THE LAW, YOU BITCHES!"

Meanwhile, his partner Yukito is still freaking out.

"STOP! STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TOUYA, SLOW DOWN OR YOU'RE GONNA KILL US ALL!"

**Crazy Cop Touya**

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Whew! There it is, my latest batch of brand-new parodies! Hope you enjoyed it and again, sorry for the very late update.

Now, as for what I parodied this time around...

Parody 16: Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan

Parody 17: None in particular, just wanted an excuse to turn Kero-chan into a superhero.

Parody 18: Also none in particular, just wanted an excuse to have Tomoyo kick some ass and to make a little bit of fun of the Sakura/Tomoyo pairing (Although the image I thought of Tomoyo in the Wild West Sheriff get-up was kinda both cool-looking and hot at the same time, maybe some of you out there may try consider doing a fanart of that).

Parody 19: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Parody 20: Once again, none in particular. Just wanted to write something that has Touya gone completely crazy that doesn't involve protecting her little sister from the 'Chinese gaki'.

Also, as an apology for such a late update, I have a bonus parody here coming up! It's a parody with CCS characters doing their own versions of existing TV commercials.

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**BONUS PARODY  
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(Doo doo doo, doo doo, do-Wah!)

Syaoran, all completely dressed up and with a bouquet of flowers in hand skips happily down the road as he's about to go on a date with Sakura.

(It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life,)

But as he reach the Kinomoto house. Touya, armed with a triple-barrelled shotgun is standing in front blocking Syaoran's way. Inside the house, Sakura (also ready for the date) is staring outside the window and this close to crying.

Damn! He has to get pass her big brother, again!

(And Mentos is fresh and full of life.)

A idea comes across his mind as he reach into his pocket, pulls out some Mentos mint candy and pops one in his mouth.

After savouring the sweetness and freshness of the candy, he quickly puts his plan into action.

(Nothing gets to you, staying fresh staying cool.)

Syaoran chants some of his magic spells and suddenly a large burst of fire is right at where Touya is standing on which causes him to hop and jump around in pain and with his pants on fire.

Then Syaoran chants another spell and a large amount of water pours down on Touya, putting out the fire making him completely wet.

(With Mentos, fresh and full of life.)

Then, Syaoran delivers the final blow as a single bolt of lightning struck Touya, adding extra damage due to his currently wet body.

(Fresh goes better! Mentos freshness!)

Then, Sakura comes out of the house, gives her 'knight in shining armour' a big hug.

(Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!)

Finally, the kawaii couple left the fried and twitching Touya behind, skips happily down the road, commencing their date.

**Mentos, the Fresh Maker!**

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Well, hope you like this bonus parody! If the responses are good, I might add more bonus commercial parodies in the future!

Whoa...this chapter is over 2500 words, the longest chapter in this fic so far1 Let's see if I can top it in upcoming chapters.

I'll try to make the next update as soon as possible. Also, check out my latest fic, Red vs. Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles, my very own version of the famous web series, Red vs. Blue but with CLAMP characters basically trying to kill each other idiotically.

Until then, see ya!

wchan39


	5. Parodies 21 to 25

Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies (Version II)

By: wchan39

I know, I haven't updated for a long time. Instead of rambling on about the things that got in my way of posting this new chapter, I decided to put them in point form to show you:

-Writer's block.

-Watching fansubbed animes.

-Went to Hong Kong and Macau for almost 3 months.

-Got lazy.

-Nintendo Wii (I love Legend of Zelda: Twilight princess!).

(NOTE: You'll probably see the same author's notes here in my other fanfic 'Red vs Blue: The CLAMP Chronicles' which is also being updated at the same time).

Once again, I'm very sorry for making you all to wait.

Okay, I'll shut up now and let you read now.

Disclaimer: Read Chapter 1

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**Parody No. 21**

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Syaoran Li is definitely not a happy camper. Today's been a horrible day at work, got rejected by another girl again, some freaky old men are toying with his patience but to top it off, the coffee machine was broken thus leading to Syaoran kicking and punching it and resulting with the machine falling down on him.

(His single life is about to come to an end...)

After that whole mess, he's just glad that he's almost home where he can just go stiff on his soft and comfy bed.

But as he pulls out his keys to unlock the front door. Syaoran finds something he's not expecting to see inside...

"Welcome home, Dear Husband!"

A long pause occurs as Syaoran's brain tries to proccess those words spoken to him.

"...What?"

(...Of course, there has to be a catch!)

We see Syaoran along with his new 'wife' clinging onto his arm sitting on one side of the coffee table while on the other side three men in black. After a long explanation, Syaoran was the first one to talk.

"So let me get this straight. The government is conducting this top secret research and Sakura's one of the results of it. The it was decided that the next phase of the experiment is have Sakura be my wife and basically getting me married against my will?"

"Uhhh...Yes, that's basically it." The first male henceforth known as Agent 1 replied.

"There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Li. Sakura is well-trained so she'll be the perfect wife for you." Agent 2 said.

A short pause later, Syaoran voiced his opinion.

"Okay, she's cute and all, I'm hopeless when it comes to getting a girlfriend so normally I wouldn't have much of a problem except for one teensy weensy little problem here!"

"What would that be, Mr. Li?" Agent 3 asked.

"SHE'S WAYYY YOUNGER THAN ME! You three assholes has just made into a goddamn pedophile! What will the public say...Oh, God! WHAT WILL MY FAMILY SAY!"

(Now, Syaoran's married life begins!)

"Dear Husband!" Sakura cried as she burst into the bathroom clad in nothing but a towel, "Let me wash your back for you!"

"WHAT! NO! SAKURA, GET OUTTA HERE!

(But nobody said it has to be perfect.)

A hand slams down on the Snooze button as Syaoran slowly wakes up for another day at work. He was about to get up until he felt something heavy on top of him. Lifting the blankets, Syaoran froze as he realize that the heavy thing on him was a sleeping Sakura wearing pink pyjamas lying on top of him, with her head on his chest.

"Good morning, Dear Husband." Sakura raised her head and smiled.

But the final straw for Syaoran was when he realised that Sakura wasn't wearing a bra therefore he got himself quite a decent view.

Next thing we hear is a very loud and ear-splitting scream coming out of the building along with flocks of pidgeons flying away.

**My Perfect Little...Marriage?**

Syaoran dropped his pen in shock as he noticed that Sakura is here at his workplace.

"You forgot your lunch, Dear Husband. So I decide to bring it to you!" Sakura said with a nice and cute smile.

There's a whole bunch of gasps and shocked reactions at this revelation.

"Dude! I didn't know you're a lolicon, Syaoran!"

That's it!

He's had enough of this!

The next thing he did was grabbing his mug of boiling hot coffee and pour it on that guy's crotch. The reaction was obvious.

"Bite me!" Syaoran snarled.

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**Parody No. 22**

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(The Evil Witch Madoushi has awaken and plans to destory Earth)

The citizens of Tomoeda run for their lives as a giant bear monster with swirly eyes along with its clay minions are causing massive damage to the city.

Meanwhile, the Evil Witch Madoushi is watching the whole thing from her secret base.

"Yes! That's it! Wipe them all out!"

(And it is up to these defenders of justice to save the world!)

On cue, Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo, Eriol and Meiling showed up.

"Hold it right there, evil doers! I demand you to surrender now or we will be forced to destroy you!"

"HA! As if we'll ever surrender to pipqueaks like you! KILL THEM!"

"Very well then. IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!"

1 minute of transformation sequences later...

"Special Magical Force Maho Rangers, ready for action!"

The Maho Rangers with weapons in hand fought hard and bravely against the giant bear monster and its clay minions. It wasn't long the clay minions are defeated and the bear monster down on its knees.

"Hahahaha! You won't get rid of me that easily, you pesky little Rangers!" With that, the monster glows red and grows into a giant.

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that!" Sakura shouted before she stretches her arm out, " We need Mecha-Kero Power now!

Descending from the heavens, a giant mechanic version of Kero-chan appears and the Maho Rangers jumps up to it and enters the cockpit.

Now, an all-out brawl between the Mecha-Kero and the monster commences as they exchange punches and kicks, the monster keeps biting Mecha-Kero while it knees the monster's head. Then the monster builds up a large amount of energy in its mouth, it screams out "BEAM!" and fires it upon Mecha-Kero, making it collapse.

"Ugh! Guess we'll have to up our firepower!"

"Right!"

"Initiate Mecha-Kero Battle Mode sequence!"

The Mecha-Kero got up and a blinding light emanates from it. After a short while, the light dissapates and Mecha-Kero emerges with new armour platings, wings and lots of weapons on it (A/N: Imagine it like a cross between Kero and a Gundam)

"INFERNO FLARE!"

The upgraded Mecha-Kero opened up its mouth, powers up this large fiery ball and blast it at the bear monster, the blast shot right through and the monster exploded.

"Ha! When will they ever learn? Evil never triumphs!"

At that precise moment at Evil Witch Madoushi's base as she's watching the whole thing.

"ARRRGGGHHH! CURSE THESE RANGERS!"

(And so the Earth is once again saved by out favourite defenders of justice! But what other schemes does the Evil Witch Madoushi has for the Earth? Tune in next time for...)

**Special Magical Force Maho Rangers**

"And remember, winners don't do drugs!"

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**Parody No. 23**

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(Oh sure, every place in the world has its share of crazy stuff happening to them...)

We see somebody who's face we can't tell is looking around with a video camera in hand.

"Hmmm...only a few days left till my assignment is due, I hope I'll capture something interesting here..."

(And this is a collection of the crazy events of one of them.)

In the Kinomoto Household, we see Touya and Sakura once again going at it with their sibling fights, except the next attack Sakura launched has caught Touya completely off-guard.

"OWW! OOOOOWWWWWWWW! OH MY GOD, SHE REALLY IS A KAIJUU! PLEASE GET HER OFF ME, HER FANGS ARE DIGGING THROUGH MY FLESH AND I'M BLEEDING! OH MY GOD, IF SOMEBODY DOESN'T HELP ME SOON I'M GONNA LOSE A PIECE OF MY ARM!

Meanwhile in the backyard, we see a sleep-deprived Kero-chan sitting in front of a large mountain of sugar while holding a large shovel in his hands.

"Must protect the sugar...then you'll have the power..."

A few blocks away, we see a bunch of Police Officers outside the supermarket trying to wrestle down a very angry Syaoran Li who's also trying to wave his sword around like a maniac.

"WHAT! RELEASE YOU IGNORANT LOT! HOW THE HELL DO YOU JUSTIFY THE THE COST OF $2.50 PER CHOCOLATE BAR WHEN IT COST $2 ACROSS THE STREET! IT'S A DAMN RIP-OFF I TELL YOU!"

And Syaoran kept on kicking and screaming as he get dragged away by the Police Officers.

Meanwhile, we see Yamazaki out in the Park...doing Tai Chi?

And Chiharu who just came by dropped her bad in shock at the sight of this.

Also at a nearby bush, Eriol wearing military uniforms is hiding and talking to his radio.

"This is Snake, do you read me Otacon?"

The we hear Nakuru reply over the radio.

"What are you talking about Eriol? And why are you calling yourself Snake? Wait a minute...did you eat those expired pixie stix again?"

"Well, I was hungry!" Eriol...I mean, Snake replied, "Not to mention there isn't any rations around."

**The Assorted Short Films about Tomoeda**

At a nearby café, Touya and Yukito are having lunch there. When suddenly they caught a glimpse of Syaoran running past by laughing like a maniac and firing a machine gun into the air while there'a bunch of Police Officers are on his tail.

"THERE HE IS! STOP THEM!"

"SOMEBODY STOP THAT CRAZY KID!"

Touya and Yukito stared at what transpired just then.

"Yuki...did I just saw the brat ran by going crazy with a machine gun?"

"...Yes." Yukito replyed, still in shock.

"Oh, thank God!" Touya sighed in relief, " I thought I gone crazy there!"

10 seconds later after all that sunk into their brains.

"Wait...What!"

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**Parody No. 24**

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"We're all shorthanded here."

(Scene changes to some individual putting on his shirt.)

"Damn them! They keep seeing through our deceptions."

(Scene changes to that person putting on his jacket.)

"Due to the circumstances, you're all we've got left."

(The person is now loading his handgun.)

"I now promote you to 'Triple Agent' status effective immediately. Henceforth your codename is 777."

(Then, it's revealed that this person is Eriol, he aims his gun at the screen, fires it and now there's blood coming down the screen.)

"Oh, shit! Uhhh...I wasn't suppose to shoot the camera guy, am I?"

(The World's in danger!)

"In 2 weeks time, the Piffle Corporation is launching it's new state-of-the-art Satellite Network that will revolutionise communications into space. But the truth is that this network is a mere front to launch Nuclear-based Satellite weapons into space. Your mission is to infiltrate Piffle Corporation and stop the launch!"

Next we see Eriol inside some old warehouse trying to escape the pursuing soldiers firing their machine guns at him. Of course, Eriol did fired his gun a couple of times, hoping to take some of them down and making his escape a bit easier.

(Only one person can stop him.)

"Greetings! My name's Syaoran Li, head of the R&D department. I've got here some new gadgets that will aid you on this mission."

Next we see Eriol and Syaoran inside a garage. The light turned on to reveal a very cool-looking car.

"I give you the G-6155 Interceptor! This little baby here will make James Bond cars look like children's toys!"

And the scene switches to Eriol driving the Interceptor escaping from two incoming helicopters. The Interceptor launched two missiles forward but then does a 180 and shoots back right at the Helicopters, blowing them to kingdom come.

Then as the Interceptor jumps across the unfinished beidge and heading into the water, it transformed into the speedboat mode and speeds away while the enemy cars desperately breaks but ends up falling into their watery graves...

...but then the boosters decided to break down right about now.

And enemy reinforcements in forms of attack helicopters approaches.

"Damn that Syaoran!"

(But can he do it in time?)

Eriol found himseld surrounded by a group of heavily armoured soldiers with P-90 Submachine Guns in hand who took him by surprised by rappeling down from the ceiling.

"Well...this is a cliché!"

**Agent 777**

Eriol enters a fancy bar and took a seat. Then the bartender come up to him.

"What would you like to drink, sir?"

"A glass of ice cold milk, please."

Then, the bar goes silent as everyone there turns to Eriol.

"What? I'm non-alcoholic!"

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**Parody No. 25**

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(The year is 1501 AD, the strong and massive Clow Army has finally conquered all of Japan...)

"Friend and Countrymen!" Clow Reed addressed his army, "Today is a glorious day for the Clow Clan for we are now rule this entire nation! As part of a token of my appreciation, free candies and sake for all!"

The army cheered as they dig in and getting wasted.

(But the truth is that there is still one small village left that is still holding out the invaders.)

Except the village itself isn't as peaceful as it seems as the large dust cloud you can see forming due to the fighting in the centre of the village.

Oh, it's nothing serious. More like a little village quabble that happens now and then...

SPLATCH!

In fact, the majority of the villagers are fighting each other...using fishes as weapons?

"OH YEAH? IF YOU THINK MY FISH ARE ROTTEN, THEN DON'T BUY THEM!"

"THEY'RE NOT JUST ROTTEN, THEY'RE HEALTH HAZARDS!"

One of the villagers, Syaoran has just returned from hunting with a dead wild boar on his shoulder just sighed at the fighting.

At that precise moment, Chief Fujitaka rushed out ontop of a large shield held by two shieldbearers trying to break up the fight.

"STOP IT ALL OF YOU AND THAT'S AN ORDER!"

Unfortunately the shieldbearers also complied with that order resulting in the sudden stop throwing Fujitaka off his shield and onto the ground at front.

"That's the 5th time this week now..." He mumbles and spitting out dirt at the same time.

Then, one of the village guards rush in, screaming "It's the Clows! The Clows are attacking!"

"What? Get me my fish!"

Outside, the Clow army has the village surrounded and marching towards the village.

"Alright, Men! Get into formation!"

Shortly afterwards, we see the villagers gathered around Wei, the village druid and a large cauldron of something that looks like soup.

Outside, the Clow Army are making their final preparations.

"Ready your weapons!"

The villagers, all psyched up, are heading out of the village gates. The village bard Meiling comes out.

"Wait! Let me sing you all a song that'll invigorate you all for this battle! La La La..."

BAM!

A salmon flew out of nowhere and it knocked out Meiling cold.

Now, the invading force are marching.

"Forward men! We shall crush this village once and for all!"

As they finally arrived at the village gates, the army stopped and see most of villagers in front of them. They looked like they're ready to fight but they're not armed.

Without hesitations to kill them all, the Clow army charges at them.

"Sakura, will you do the honours?"

Just as the soldier approaches Sakura and seemed to be within range to cut her in half, Sakura just points her finger out and what happens next was unbelievable.

Everyone stopped as they noticed that just from Sakura's finger, the soldier in front of her has been stopped in his tracks, along with 50 or so soldiers in front of the first one whom they all bumped into and stopped. Next, Sakura winds up a punch and thrust it at the soldier's stomach. It must've be one heck of a punch because it sent the soldier and 50 or so others behind him flying backwards.

The Clow army stared in shock and horror.

"CHARGE!"

So the villagers rushed at the Clow army who's guard is still down. What happened next looked like something out of a cartoon show. Bodies getting launched into the air and all over the place. Sakura was seen grabbed a Clow soldier by the leg, using him like a bludgeoning weapon and just strikes down any incoming enemies as if the soldier she's holding weight like a feather.

Syaoran has two soldiers by their arms swinging them around like clubs, knocking over all incoming enemies and Eriol holds two fishes in his hands as if they're swords and just keep whacking the hell outta every soldier he comes across.

Even Clow Reed is staring at this with his jaw dropped to the ground.

"Wha...What the hell are these people?"

**These Villagers Are Crazy!**

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Yes...I finally posted this new chapter up!

Whoa! It gets harder to write these parodies now. Not because of running out of ideas, more like the ideas I come up with, they tend to be so long that it can become one-shot series. So right now I'm thinking of turning this fic into a 'one-shot per chapter' series. I would like to hear your opinions on this so let me know when you review.

Now, here's the list of where the parodies originated from:

Parody 21: That came from this anime called Rizelmine. Not exactly a good series but it did gave me the idea for this (also, Rizel is very cute).

Parody 22: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Some may remember my old Power Rangers parody from the previous version of this fic. This time I tried to make it better but in the end it ended up looking like a mini-chapter. Hope it's still good enough. The last line about winners don't do drugs was something I added in that parodies what children TV shows can be like with those morals to end the show during the 90's where the Power Rangers started.

Parody 23: This is based on the 22 Short Films about Springfield episode of the Simpsons. I just threw whatever random stuff I imagined the CCS characters would do at that moment.

Parody 24: James Bond. But the G-6155 Interceptor is actually the car you drive in the videogame Spy Hunter.

Parody 25: Asterix. A popular French comic book that's about this small village in Gaul (France) still holding out against the Roman Leigonaries thanks to a magic potion that gives the user superhuman strength. A very funny series and I recommend you to read it.

Well, I have no idea when my next update is so...hope I'll see you again soon whenever that is.

wchan39


	6. Parodies 26 to 30

Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies (Version II)

By: wchan39

I know I promised to update real soon (which was like 3-4 months ago) but that's because I got the Nintendo Wii that kept me busy (especially Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and then Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2).

Just when I finished the games and was about to continue my fanfics again...I went out and bought myself a Xbox 360.

Thus I now diverted my attention span from my fanfics to playing Dead or Alive 4 and Gears of War (and whatever demos I can download for the 360)

So yeah, it's only now that I have some time to finish this chapter off so I hope this won't disappoint and so sorry to make you all wait.

Disclaimer: Read Chapter 1

P.S. I've been playing DOA4 online for a bit now so if any of you own a Xbox 360 and want to play with me or just add me on your list, my gamertag is WRC39.

**0000000000000000**

**Parody No. 26**

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(You know, I used to look forward to going to school.)

The school bell starts ringing, signalling that class is about to start.

(However, at least for me...the last couple of weeks has been hell for me.)

"OH GOD! I'M GONNA BE LATE!" Screamed a sprinting Syaoran, with bed hair and a piece of toast hanging from his mouth. Obvious signs of oversleeping.

Just as he's about to approach the school gates, he sees Sakura and Tomoyo there as well...

...but suddenly he steps on a banana peel (which appeared out of nowhere) and falls flat on his face.

But that's not the worst of it.

Normally when you fall, you would instinctively try to reach over and grab for anything that would break your fall, right? But unfortunately in Syaoran's case, the things he grabbed for happened to be Sakura and Tomoyo's skirts.

(Yep...as much as I hate to admit, that little pervert you're seeing right now? That's me.)

"WHY YOU..."

"...PERVERT!"

(BAM! CRASH! BIFF!)

Now Syaoran is currently flying through the air.

(But seriously! It wasn't always like that! But lately, I keep getting all these bad luck just because I accidentally offended this gothic girl in school who also happened to be into the occult and black magic and stuff.)

Syaoran's eyes popped out of his eye due to the fact he has just found out that the school's goth, Nakuru...has a massive collection of all these VERY cute teddy bears.

"You know my secret...for this, you shall pay!"

(And thus, she puts this curse on me and at first, I thought it's just some cockadookie that she's trying to scare me with, until...)

He finds himself staring inside the girl's locker room and they're all happened to be changing right now.

"Wait a minute!" Syaoran thought while sweating a lot, "I could've sworn this was the men's room..."

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

"PERVERT!"

And what luck, these girls also happened to be from the Girls Baseball Team so poor Syaoran has to endure a period of bone-breaking bashings from baseball bats...

...they also happened to be those new and fancy titanium baseball bats as well.

(Alright! Honestly like any normal guys, I enjoyed the views! It's just that...well, it's also hazardous to my health.)

Back to Syaoran flying throught the sky, he's now descending very fast. But just as he's about to hit the ground, a truck approaches at high speed.

"...Mommy!" Syaoran whimpered.

(CRASH!)

**The Accidental Pervert**

Back at school, the teacher is now marking off the class roll.

"Is Syaoran Li here?"

Suddenly, Syaoran came crashing through the window and lands in a crumbled heap in from of the teacher's table. The teacher blanches as a bloody hand grabs the edge of the table and Syaoran's blood-gushing head sticks out.

"I'm here...sir..."

**0000000000000000**

**Parody No. 27**

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It was a quiet day for the new commander of the Naval fleet...

"Wow!" Commander Sakura said in awe. "I got my own ships! I wonder what this button does..."

Minutes later in outer space, an approaching Puchuu Destroyer was blown to pieces.

"PUCHUU!" (The humans are attacking!)

"PUCHUU? PUCHUUUUUU!" (What! And to think we want to make peace with them! Fine! We shall wipe them all out!)

(The world has been living in peace for decades since the last great war between the five nations and has since then united...that is until 'they' came.)

"PUCCHU!"

"Awww! It's so cute! Look how..."

"AHHHHHH!"

Soon the city is engulfed in flames, overshadowed by a massive mothership and overrun by little flying saucers piloted by these 'Puuchus' and zapping red lasers which blows building apart like they're made of toothpicks.

(In response, these five allied nations joined forces to meet this new enemy head on. Each nation sent one of their best Commanding Officers to lead the Allied Nations Army to battle.)

"Ahhh! Nothing starts you up for a war like a cup of coffee!" Eriol says as he drinks the last of the cup's content.

Then Commander Touya burst into the room.

"GET YOUR ASS UP AND RUNNING, SOLDIER! THE PUCHUUS ARE ATTACKING!"

Soon, the whole planet is engulfed in lasers, bullets and explosions.

"Anti-Air Unit! Don't let any of them stay in the air!" Commander Syaoran shouted through the radio as more bullets bring down these flying saucers.

"Oh, God! They're about to fire their primary weapons!"

Then, a squadron of stealth fighters breaks through the enemy frontline.

"Don't worry, sir! This is Tomoyo of the Air Unit. We'll take that thing out!"

Admist all these fighting, Sakura is freaking out.

"But...it was my fault! I started all these because I pushed the wrong button..."

**At War with the Puchuus**

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**Parody No. 28**

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Suppi (AKA Spinel Sun) has enough of this!

Today's he's gonna get some revenge!

Today, we see Suppi wearing army fatigues and shotgun in hand, slowing creeping through hall grasses and finally stops and hide behind a tree.

He peeks out a little and see a bit of Kero's head poking out of the tall grasses in front.

Suppi cocks his shotgun.

"Hehehehehe...I'm gonna get him this time!"

Suppi jumps out and fire his shotgun. It was a direct hit and Suppi can see Kero fall over from being shot.

"Alright! I got him! I got him!

Suppi rushes to Kero's body but sees that what he thought he shot is Kero turns out to be a stuffed toy.

"HEY! What the..."

Then, a large shadow appears on the ground that Suppi's standing on. He looks up...and screams.

(CRASH!)

A large 100 tons weight fell from the sky and flattens Suppi. Once the dust settles, you can see that there's a rope tied to the weight and it leads up to a large tree branch where we see the real Kero standing.

"HAHAHAHAHA! It'll take another million years before you can catch me!" Kero shouted inbetween laughs.

Suppi, flat as a pancake slithers out of the 100 tons weight pops back to his normal proportion after a short time. But his fire is yet to be put out and he turns to stare Kero with glowing red eyes.

"I'LL GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I'LL DO!"

Then Suppi fires his shotgun at the tree branch which gets knocked down along with Kero. Quickly, he got back up and starts running like the wind while dodging Suppi's bullets.

**Kero Hunting Season**

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**Parody No. 29**

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(A horrific accident cost him his life...)

"LOOK OUT!"

Syaoran rushed out to the street and pushed Sakura away from an incoming truck...

Next we Syaoran in a full body cast lying on a hospital bed.

(...and now he's been given another one.)

Finally, Syaoran (without body cast) wakes up to see...something's not right.

"Hey, why's everything green? And what's with all these numbers showing up in my face?"

(And...it's one helluva ride!)

Sakura is now in a room alone with Syaoran, who keeps looking at himself.

"You're now loaded with the world's most cutting edge technology, you're now the ultimate..."

At that moment, Syaoran is testing out the new gadgets and found that one of them is a M&M dispenser...that won't stop pouring out M&Ms and soon the room is flooded.

"The hell are you talking about!" Syaoran screamed, trying to swim out of the M&Ms river, "All these things does is shoot out sweets!"

(Not to mention quite a weird ride as well.)

The bank robbers opened fire at Syaoran but the bullets just keeps bouncing off him. Soon the robbers are out of ammo and starts panicing.

"Alright! It's my turn!"

Then, he stretch his arm out, showing his palm waiting for something to happen.

But nothing happened.

"DO SOMETHING ALREADY, YOU STUPID PIECE OF..."

Then a hole opened up at the palm of his hand and then a large barrage of hot, sticky and melted chocolate poured out and the pressure sent the robbers flying and made one of them scream, "AH MY FACE! MY VALUABLE FACE!"

Syaoran stared at his hand for a while before saying, "Cool!"

**The Human Sweets Dispenser**

Here, we see Sakura and Syaoran sitting together at a table reading.

"I could sure go for some chocolate milkshake right now."

Then, a loud noise can be heard from Syaoran's stomach. Then, a loud 'DING!' can be heard and he opened the door to his 'stomach' and pulled out a tall glass of chocolate milkshake.

"There you go!"

"Thanks!"

**0000000000000000**

**Parody No. 30**

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(Sure, they're all characters we've known and love for all these years now but...what really goes on when the camera's not rolling?)

Here we see an angry Sakura throwing down her script hard on the table. But the weird part is that Sakura isn't cheerful at all and she's wearing nothing but black.

"I'm sick and tired of always being so cheerful and cute! Why come something bad happen to my character and making her all angst and suicidal and stuff!"

Meanwhile, we see Syaoran typing away on his computer in his room which is completely filled with shelves of Gundam models and figures of female characters from their respective anime and games series.

"What!" Syaoran screamed, "Those actually prefer that damn green-haired backstabber over Kaede-chan! This is an outrage, I tell you!"

On the other side of town, we see Tomoyo dressed like rock star, onstage in front of thousands of screaming fans ready to perform in her latest gig.

"Are you ready to rock!"

It's late at night and Touya's slowing getting up from his table which is filled with empty beer bottles.

"Hey! Give me another beer!"

"Sorry, mister," the bartender replied, "I think you have enough."

Then, Touya grabbed the bartender by the shirt collar with one hand and the other grabbed an empty beer bottle, smashed it and point the sharp broken half at the bartender.

"I say when I had enough! So get me my beer or I'll kill the whole lot of ya!" Touya growled.

It's the late afternoon, a beautiful day outside and yet Yukito stuck himself in a room stuying and surrounded by mountains of textbooks.

"Yukito! It's time for filming the next episode!"

"Goddamn it! It's always 'film this' and 'film that', I'm trying to effing study here!"

(All this and more to be revealed on...)

**Cardcaptor Sakura: EXPOSED!**

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To tell you the truth, pieces of this fic were written over these 3-4 months period but I'm just glad this chapter is done and over with.

Now, onto telling you where these parodies came from:

Parody 26: The structure of the parody was based on the teaser for that new upcoming Disney/Pixar movie 'Ratatouille' (pronounced 'Rat-a-too-ee') and as the rest of it are typical stuff you normally see in those harem or romance/comedy animes such as Love Hina.

Parody 27: A combination of the anime Excel Saga, the GBA/DS game series Advance Wars and the movie Independence Day.

Parody 28: Looney Tunes cartoons. Especially those that consist of Elmer Fudd trying to hunt either Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck.

Parody 29: The Inspector Gadget movie.

Parody 30: This was based on the 'Behind the Laughter' episode of The Simpsons where they showed as if the Simpsons are actually actors on a TV show. So this parody was like 'What if the CCS characters are really actors and what would they be like when they're not on TV?'

In case you don't get what the characters are in 'real life', I'll explain it. Sakura is a goth, Syaoran's an otaku (see if you can guess what anime he's talking about in that parody), Tomoyo's a rock star, Touya's an alcoholic and Yukito...well, he studies too much.

Okay, now that I'm finished...make sure you review and I'll be going back to playing my Xbox 360 (Still interested in playing with/against me? My gamertag's on top of this chapter.)

wchan39


	7. Parodies 31 to 35

Cardcaptor Sakura Parodies

By: wchan39

Damn!

I mean, damn!

I haven't updated this for almost 4 years!

Well, what happened was basically I'm drifting away from fanfictions especially since I got other things more important to worry about in real life now.

That and there's LOTS of new and awesome video games out there to play as well.

Although I do try to come to writing every now and then hoping it'll eventually become new chapters for my stories. Unfortunately none of them worked out until I realised recently that I can put all these pieces together and create another CCS Parodies chapter.

To all those who either no longer follow this story or those who ACTUALLY waited for my update for so long, I'm very sorry for the wait and hope this chapter is still on par with the quality of the materials I have previously concocted.

To any newcomers, welcome to my story and I hope you'll have a fun time reading this.

Now, let's begin!

**0000000000000000**

**Parody No. 31**

**0000000000000000**

(Not long ago, the earth was on the brink of destruction...but evil was thrawted thanks to the efforts of the earth's hero, Chibi Wolf thus Earth was saved. However, this hard-earned peace was short-lived...)

Civilians screams and flee for their lives as a massive army of monsters appears out of nowhere in the city and start causing destructions, firing lasers and explosives everywhere.

"Run while you can, humans! Soon this pathetic little planet shall belong to our master! HWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

The monsters turn to the source of the voice. It was Syaoran standing in from of them.

"This is as far as you go!" Syaoran declared.

The monsters laughed.

"You're gonna stop us? There's only one of you!"

"Make that three of us!"

This is when Sakura and Tomoyo suddenly appear by Syaoran's side.

"You girls ready?"

Sakura and Tomoyo nodded.

"LET'S DO IT!"

All three of them held up their right hands into the air as they glow brightly.

"HENSHIN-A-GO-GO, BABY!"

-Insert heavy metal guitar music here-

Syaoran's clothes dematerializes as green ribbons comes out of nowhere and wrap around him. The ribbons changes shape until it finally dissolves into bright sparkles revealing something that looks like a cross between light armour gear and a tuxedo. A sword appears in from of him and he grabs it, swings it around a few times and poses.

Sakura's clothes dematerializes as pink ribbons comes out of nowhere and wraps around her. The ribbons then dissolves into sparkles revealing Sakura who is now wearing something that resembles a sailor school uniform with shoulder guards and breastplate. A staff appears in front of her and she grabs it, twirls it around and poses.

Tomoyo's clothes dematerializes as violet ribbons comes out of nowhere and wraps around her. The ribbons dissolves revealing Tomoyo who is now wearing something that resembles a french maid outfit along with frilly gloves and boots. A pair of handguns appear in front of her and she grabs them, spins them around her hands and poses.

Syaoran gets into a battle stance.

"In the name of Love and Justice, I am Chibi Wolf!"

Sakura gets into a fighting stance.

"In the name of all that is Good and Pure, I'm Chibi Blossom!"

Tomoyo gets into a battle stance.

"In the name of all that is Cute and Adorable, I'm Chibi Lilac!"

Then, all three of them get together and pose.

"Pretty Magical Squadron, unite!"

And then a random massive explosion appears before them to emphasise their 'awesomeness'.

**Pretty Magical Squadron – Chibi Wolf 2  
**

The team sweatdrops as the monsters has appeared to have left all but a huge sign planted in from them saying:

**OUT TO LUNCH!**

"Told you we shouldn't have spent all that time posing and shit!"

**0000000000000000**

**Parody No. 32**

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It's pitch black as Kero-chan is currently flying in midair...

(His fantasy has become a reality in a form never seen before...)

...until he slowly descends into a stand.

(Kitchen Stadium, a giant cooking arena.)

And the lights are turned on, revealing an extremely large kitchen.

(The motivation for spending his fortune to create Kitchen Stadium was to encounter new original cuisines which could be called true artistic creations.)

Kero-chan poses dramatically and screams, "I-RO-N-U COO-KU-RU!"

(To realise his dream, Chairman Keroberos secretly started choosing the top chefs of various styles of cooking, and he named his men the Iron Cooks: the invincible men of culinary skills.)

Dramatic music plays as the podium rises, revealing three men in chef attires.

To the right, reveals Syaoran.

(Iron Cook Chinese: Syaoran Li!)

To the right, reveals Eriol.

(Iron Cook French: Eriol Hiiragizawa!)

And finally in the middle, reveals Fujitaka.

(And Iron Cook Japanese: Fujitaka Kinomoto!)

Then, several shots of random CLAMP characters entering the Kitchen Stadium, such as Misaki Suzuhara (Angelic Layer), Chitose Hibiya (Chobits) and Seiichiro Aoki (X/1999).

(Kitchen Stadium is the arena where the Iron Cooks await the challenges of master chefs from around the world.)

The screen shows several shots of challengers and the Iron Cooks in the style of the 'VS' screens of fighting games.

(Both the Iron Cook and challenger have one hour to tackle the theme ingredient of the day.)

Scene swtiches to Kero-chan removing the cloak, unveiling the theme ingredient.

(Using all their senses, skill, creativity, they are to prepare artistic dishes never tasted before.)

Then there's scenes of the Iron Cooks showing off their cooking skills such as Fujitaka throwing up ingredients into the air and with kitchen knife in hand, moves so fast that he cuts up the ingredients in midair before falling down in a neat and well-place position.

Syaoran looking like he's controlling fire as he cooks whatever is in his wok and flame rises.

And finally Eriol looking like he's painting but actually placing the sauce for all his finished dishes.

(And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron Cook, he or she will gain the people's ovation and fame forever!)

Scene switches to one of the challengers, Shogo Asagi cheering over his victory as everyone applauds while confetti rains down on him.

(Every battle, reputations are on the line in Kitchen Stadium, where master chefs pit their artistic creations against each other.)

Kero-chan overlooks the Kitchen Stadium and picks up a mini bell pepper in his hand...

(What inspiration does today's challenger bring? And how will the Iron Cooks fight back?)

...takes a bite out of it and smiles in front of the camera.

**Iron Cook**

(The heat will be on!)

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**Parody No. 33**

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Syaoran walks up in front of the camera, wearing a lab coat that's covered in scorch marks over his school uniform. He's also wearing a pair of glasses and his hair is WAY messier than usual.

"You know what? I LOVE video games! But how many times have we asked ourselves whenever we play video games, 'Can this happen in real life?'. That's why..."

Camera zooms out to reveal the location to be in some rural area in the middle of nowhere.

"...we're out here in the ass-crack of the world to run a bunch of idiots through a bunch of crazy-ass experiments and obstacle courses!"

Here, we see two of the 'idiots' for the job, Touya Kinomoto and Eriol Hiiragizawa.

"Hey, what's up, you two idiots?" Syaoran greets.

"Shut up!" Eriol replies.

"Fuck you!" Same goes for Touya.

Syaoran groans.

"Oh, stop whining! We haven't done anything to you yet!"

(It's painful!)

"AHHHHH!" Eriol runs screaming as several explosions are closing in on him.

"Stop running!" Syaoran screams through the megaphone, "How can we test the realism of rocket-jumping if you're not getting blown up?"

(It's cruel!)

Touya is driving in a car that (and running over every cone and carboard pedestrians) is completely covered up and the only way to see outside is a small display monitor inside the driver's seat.

"OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA FUCKING DIE!"

(It's stupid!)

"Sakura! You got the outfits for this test ready?"

Sakura in a lab coat just like Syaoran appears with several skimpy bikinis in her hands.

"Yep! They're all here!"

"Excellent!" Said Syaoran 'Mr Burns-style' as he twiddle his fingers, looking menacing as Chiharu, Rika and Naoko are in the background backing away slowly and in fear.

(And it's all in the name of science!)

**CLAMP Laboratory**

(Where nobody is spared from pain and humiliation!)

"So, what have we learnt today?" Syaoran asks a pair of injured Eriol and Touya.

"I learnt that foam baseball bats hurts just as much as real ones!"

Syaoran snorts.

"Oh, that can't possibly be true! You guys are babies! This is for science!"

As he was saying that, Touya sneaks up to Syaoran and...

WHACK!

"OW! FUCK, THAT HURTS!"

**0000000000000000**

**Parody No. 34**

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Clow Reed is standing outside a small house and staring at it for quite some time now.

"Well, crap! Something has to be done or else they'll close down my shop!"

The front door of the house opens and Eriol comes out.

"Master? Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"Yes, Eriol! I'll be going away for a long time so you're in-charge of this alchemy workshop now, bye!"

Then, Clow Reed runs away with luggages in hand, leaving a dumbfounded Eriol behind.

"...Whuh?"

(He is an alchemist-in-training...)

Eriol is mixing all kinds of concoctions in the cauldron.

"Okay, it's just a simple healing potion I have to make...how hard can it be?"

Then he grabs a vial of red liquid, pours it into the cauldron and...

KABOOM! The neighbours looks towards the workshop and see smoke coming out of its windows.

Inside we see Eriol completely covered in black soot.

"...Damn it!"

(He is trying his best to learn everything...)

Tomoyo is standing wayyyyy back as Eriol is approaching this weird-looking tree to gather ingredients.

"Are you sure about this?"

"It's just a tree! It's not gonna hurt anybody!"

Then Eriol uses a pair of scissors and snips off parts of the tree...

...and the next thing we see is the (apparently) alive tree is chasing Eriol and Tomoyo.

"You idiot! Didn't you read the Bestiary before doing this?"

"That damn book was as thick as my head! How the hell do you expect me to read it all?"

(To become a full-fledged alchemist!)

"I finally figured out how to make a pie with alchemy! What do you think?"

Syaoran stares blankly at the pie.

"Uhhh...Eriol?"

"Yes?"

"The pie's talking."

"What?"

Eriol comes over to take a look and just as Syaoran says, the pie is hopping around the table, flapping open the top of its crust saying, 'Pie! Pie! Pie!'.

**Atelier Eriol: Alchemist of Tomoeda **

"Cool! What do you think it's trying to say?"

"Do I look like I can speak Pokemon?"

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**Parody No. 35**

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(His comedic debut was a total bomb!)

Spotlights are turned on.

(He fixed up his act.)

Spotlights points towards the stage where there is a microphone in the middle of the stage.

(After many years, it is time for his major comeback!)

A MC gets up on stage, standing where the spotlights are pointing.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time in his major comeback, please welcome the moon guardian of the cards...Yue!"

Yue walks out and takes the mic and starts to speak.

"Thank you! Thank you!"

Then Yue adjust the height of the microphone stand.

"Here's a good one! Did you ever know how men always leave the toilet seat up?"

Silence. Except for the sound of crickets.

"...That's the joke."

"YOU SUCK, YUE!"

Then Yue pulls out a gatling gun from nowhere and starts shooting the audience. The audience screams over the gunfire as they flee for their lives.

After it ran out of bullets, Yue tossed the gatling gun to the side and continue his act.

"Now where was I...oh, yes! Now it's time for my Sasuke Uchiha impression!"

Yue coughs and begins his impression.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha! I'm very emo! I like to listen to emo music, like Linkin Park 'cause I'm emo!"

More silence.

"...Did I mention I'm emo?"

"Hey, that really does suck!

Then, Yue pulls out a rocket launcher and fires it at the audience. It explodes and some debris went flying onto the stage.

**Yue: The Comedian 2 – Another Shameless Sequel**

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Another chapter finished!

So when will my next update be? To be honest, I don't know. I'll just write it down whenever I have spare time and when the idea comes to me. I thank you if you do decide to wait for my update.

Now, to tell you what the parodies in this chapter are based on:

Parody No. 31: It's a sequel to Parody No.1. I thought what better way to start this long-awaited chapter than to reference the first parody I ever written for this story. Although it is heavily influenced by the new Power Rangers Samurai series. Oh and the 'Henshin-A-Go-Go, Baby' bit was from Viewtiful Joe.

Parody No. 32: Iron Chef, enough said. Although it does a few hints of Futurama's parody of Iron Chef.

Parody No. 33: This is based on Rooster Teeth's (Creators of the Red vs Blue series) mini-series called Immersion. They basically test out video game mechanics in real life. Also it was based on this idea of mine about what if there's a fic about Syaoran becoming a mad scientist.

Parody No. 34: The Atelier video game series such as Atelier Iris or Atelier Rorona.

Parody No. 35: The sequel to Parody No. 10. The Sasuke bit was a joke from LittleKuriboh, the creator of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged Series.

Well, that's it for now. It's been a long time so I'll appreciated if you send me some reviews. I've said it many times before but even though I sound like I'm hounding you all for reviews, getting some if any kind of feedback does wonders for writers, it motivates them to continue writing and change or fix anything that went wrong. So if I'm getting next to no reviews, then I won't have any ideas of what went right or wrong thus it can make it hard to continue writing.

But I'm rambling now, so I'll stop.

See you whenever I see you!

wchan39


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